Career or Homemaking | Understanding the True Purpose (Part 1)

An open heart conversation for women who are stuck in between personal life and professional life.

HOMEMAKING VS HOUSEKEEPING

No matter how successful a person becomes, there comes a point in life when one cannot fully depend on others for everything—not for meals to be cooked, the house to be cleaned, things to be organized, laundry to be done, or loved ones to be cared for.

Similarly, one cannot rely entirely on someone else to manage finances, pay bills, or keep life structured.

Both responsibilities must go hand in hand.

“Train yourself to understand and handle both—without regret, without resentment, and with confidence.”

Brief: 

Homemaking is more than managing a house. It is the responsibility of the person who creates, nurtures, and sustains a peaceful environment where everyone can grow emotionally and personally.

It is an art — and it differs from one individual to another. Homemaking is not defined by a lavish apartment or luxurious surroundings. It is reflected in daily efforts that require energy, patience, and strength — qualities we are rarely trained for in advance.

It begins with one person. The energy that person carries slowly radiates throughout the space they live in, shaping and redefining the environment around them. Over time, homemaking becomes more than a responsibility; it becomes a part of your personality—a quiet spark you carry wherever you go.

You can with full Honour call her
A HOMEMAKER

———————- o ———————-

Housekeeping, on the other hand, can be carried out by anyone—whether a maid or a house manager. Their responsibilities are usually defined by assigned tasks and compensation. The role is structured around duties that need to be completed.

Homemaking, however, goes beyond task completion. A homemaker is present in almost every need of the family—emotionally, mentally, and physically. It is not just about maintaining a space but nurturing the people within it.

There is also the term “housewife,” which is often used interchangeably. To me, the difference lies not in worth, but in intention. Homemaking feels like a conscious, holistic effort to build a home, rather than simply performing household duties.

The choice of how we approach these roles shapes not only our own lives but also leaves an impression on the present and future generations.

————- 0 ————-

A few words about myself before I pen down the main content:

I am a professional designer — an architect by qualification and practice. From the beginning, I always knew that whenever I chose to build a family, I would give equal importance to my home, no matter what it required.

I have achieved many of the goals I once set for myself, and I feel content with what I have been able to accomplish. My journey was not easy — it came with obstacles and difficult phases — but I faced them with resilience. I may not be perfect, but I am proud of the strength I built through those challenging days.

—————– o ——————

Is homemaking a burden or a joy? Let’s have a look…

• Homemaking can feel both stressful and peaceful at the same time. Each day brings new experiences — moments of success, moments of mistakes, and lessons that shape us over time. What truly matters is how we choose to respond to them.

  Life within a home is filled with situations and unexpected outcomes that quietly teach us resilience and patience. If we are willing to approach them with a positive mindset, we gradually learn to lead our own path with confidence and clarity.

• There were days when I deeply wanted to resume my career. But without extended support, choosing between my daughter and my profession felt emotionally overwhelming. It often felt like I was standing at a crossroads with no easy answer.

  One of my biggest dreams was to have a daughter. At the same time, being a university topper, I carried a strong passion for my profession. I have always been deeply committed to my work — almost a workaholic when I choose to be — so immersed that I tend to forget everything else around me.

• Being caught between these two extremes often made me feel as though I was being unfair to myself. No matter what I chose, a part of me felt left behind.

  Yet, deep within, I knew I had to trust my instincts. I have always been someone who believes strongly in my inner voice, and that belief has shaped who I am today.

• Trust me, there were phases when my daughter would wake up in the middle of the night — at 2 a.m., 3 a.m., sometimes even 4 a.m. — crying from nightmares. I slowly began to realize how deeply sensitive she was to the idea of me being away.

  On the days I would mention going back to the office, she would become extremely emotional, as if she feared losing me. That reaction made me understand how strongly she needed my presence during that phase of her childhood.

• That phase was especially intense because I was the one caring for her almost entirely on my own. The people who might have supported me had their own commitments, and in many moments, I had to manage things independently. Over time, her sense of security became closely tied to my presence.

  In a world that already feels demanding and uncertain, I wanted to be there for her — not just physically, but emotionally — to ensure her mental and emotional development felt steady and secure.

• The love between a mother and child is always unconditional. With my daughter, I felt that I was her safe space — and she was mine. During that phase, I did not want to disturb that bond in a world where trust often feels fragile.

  Her happiness meant more to me than anything else at that time, and protecting her emotional security became my priority.

• My husband and I often discussed what life would look like if I returned to the office full-time. Instead of pushing me in one direction, he encouraged me to consider starting my own firm in the future — something that would give me flexibility and control over my time.

  He believed that our home felt more peaceful with my presence, especially during that phase of our daughter’s growth. Given the demanding nature of my profession, I knew that if I resumed full-time work, I would have to choose where to place my primary focus — home or career. Balancing both at that intensity did not feel realistic at that time.

• At that point, I chose home first. Not because I doubted my career, but because I believed in my potential. I knew deep within that certain opportunities in life can be regained with time — if they are meant for you, they will find their way back. But some moments, once missed, cannot be reclaimed.

  I trusted that my career would eventually find its path again. What felt irreplaceable to me was that phase of my daughter’s growth and the stability of our home. Had I chosen differently at that moment, I believe things would not have unfolded the same way.

• One advantage of my profession is the flexibility it offers. As an Architect with an Indian license under the Council of Architecture, I am authorized to practice within India. If I ever choose to work abroad, certain formalities and regulatory processes would need to be completed.

  However, within the country, my field allows me a degree of flexibility in how and when I work. This gives me the freedom to structure my professional journey in a way that aligns with my family’s needs.

• Since our marriage, my husband has rarely experienced a true work-life balance. His profession demands long hours and frequent travel. Given that reality, someone had to consciously hold the home steady — and I chose to take on that role to maintain peace and stability in our lives.

  I do not feel guilty about that decision. Yet, I would be dishonest if I said I never miss certain things — going to the office, traveling freely, laughing with friends without checking the clock. There were also phases when I longed for more shared parenting, especially during our daughter’s early years.

  But every season in life comes with its own adjustments, and this was ours.

• But in many ways, I have also experienced a different kind of joy by being present for my daughter. We have created countless memories together, and in our own way, my husband and I have still achieved the dreams we once planned side by side.

  Yes, the days can be stressful — managing the home and parenting largely on my own, missing him during long stretches of travel, living in the same house yet sometimes meeting only on weekends because of demanding schedules. But all of it has been part of the journey. Through these experiences, I have come to understand my own value, strength, potential, and capability more deeply than ever before.

• Through this journey, I have learned more about life alongside my daughter than I ever expected. She has added a deeper meaning to my days, and for that, I will always remain grateful to the universe. To me, she feels like an answered prayer.

  My husband, too, has stood by me whenever I reached out to him. In his own way and within the limits of his demanding profession, he has supported me through this phase.

• If both of us had continued in equally demanding professional roles without adjustment, there was a real possibility that we would have been emotionally unavailable for our daughter. That, to me, felt unfair during her most formative years.

  The lack of extended family support added another layer of stress. Without that safety net, the responsibility naturally became heavier, and the decision required even more careful thought.

• Today, almost half a decade later as I publish this, I can see that my daughter is doing well and growing beautifully. That gives me a quiet sense of contentment. I am at peace knowing that I listened to my heart during one of the most difficult phases of my life.

  Was it easy? Not at all. In fact, it was far more challenging than I can fully put into words. Choosing between my career and my daughter was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. But I trusted time — and I still do. There are many years ahead, and I believe life will reward every sincere choice in its own way.

• Later, I chose to work in a way that felt right for my health, my daughter, my husband, and our home. The office was always a dream for me. I loved collaborating with my team, having my own desk, organizing my space just the way I liked it. I miss the constant travel, the productive stress that made time fly, and the satisfaction that came with earning and achieving my goals.

  But I have never seen this as the end of my journey. I am certain that one day I will return — stronger, more confident, and perhaps even more accomplished than I once imagined.

• Nothing has drastically changed even now. I continue to work from home, structuring my schedule in a way that aligns with my priorities. What truly matters is being confident in your own choices and investing your time, energy, and resources wisely.

  Progress does not always have to be fast. Even if the pace feels slow in the beginning, consistency and clarity will eventually bring momentum. When the time is right, you will find yourself back on track — stronger and better prepared than before.

So, there is a continuation of this journey that really made my life something i will always be grateful for…if you wish to continue reading here are some points on things that i focused more on with my life.
click here

ALWAYS REMEMBER …
SOMETIMES THINGS WILL BE HARD TO FOLLOW BUT STILL TRUSTING YOUR INSTINCTS AND MOVING ON IS THE BEST & LEAST YOU COULD DO
FOR YOURSELF

A few visual insights from this journey are also documented on my YouTube channel. link below.

Monisha